not such a bad place to wander for 40 years...

during the last week in jordan, i've been in constant amazement of the beautiful landscape around me. what must it have been like for the israelites to be stuck here for 40 years? i find myself thinking, "it'd be hard NOT to believe in god in a place like this." it's so easy to see millions of years of history here, both human (sediment spilling over the clay pipes at the gorgeous Nabatean ruins at Petra) and non-human (elegantly carved sandstones at Wadi Rum, with parallel cracks as if to remind us of the fractal nature of its mineral weaknesses).

and as cheesy as it sounds, i increasingly subscribe to the aphorism that not all who wander are lost. my dad points out that this story of wandering is a metaphor for adolescence, but although i like the metaphor, i'm starting to believe that maybe the jews were not really wandering. rather, they chose to stay in this glorious place and feel god's presence in a way they hadn't before, instead of moving onto a land where there was no guarantee of knowing god and god's work so intimately.

when they had reached the dead sea, moses went up on mt. nebo in jordan (har nevo in hebrew) and glimpsed the promised land, which he never reached. previously, i've thought of this story as the jewish version of tantalus: a man is just within reach of his goal as it disappears. i've wondered what my nevo will be, and if other cultures have this story (and if so, why?) but as i ruminate, the passover song, "dayenu," comes to mind. in this song, we sing that it would've been enough if god had just brought us out of slavery, if god had split the seas, if god had given us shabbat, etc. maybe, when moses reached the summit of har nevo, it was like the day i did, rainy and snowy.

yes, the promised land looked great, but no different from the land on which he was standing. rather than take his chances on disappointment, moses said, "dayenu," and he was buried on nevo. perhaps the story of nevo is not one of being tantalized, or one of jews being punished for their idolatry and lack of faith in the desert, but rather one of deciding that you need not have EVERYTHING you've worked for to be happy and fulfilled and to know god.